Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just tell him i said nine months
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
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two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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