white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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