I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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