Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
MIDGETS
????
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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