at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
