I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
