I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
