Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize