I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
