tell your sister to shave her snatch
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
