There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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