I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
40s are totally the cure
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
