check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
