Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
