I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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