smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
