Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize