but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
