I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
