he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
