Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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