That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
