Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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