I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
