I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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