:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
