yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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