She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dear god my vagina.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
