You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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