i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
