Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
