Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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