margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize