Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
