I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My liver just broke up with me...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
