I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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