Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I want to be your penis for a week.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?