I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it