at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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