'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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