addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
