My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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