ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
