Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
your thong is hanging out like whoa
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
