"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...