If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
