No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.