member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex