awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
