Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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