you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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