I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize