I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
