Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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