the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
