Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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