I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
