we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
